FORGET DIVORCE - SAVE YOUR MARRIAGE

 Is your marriage having trouble to the extent that you are considering getting a divorce?  Well have you thought about seeing a marriage counselor?  There are many different marriage counselors and it can be difficult knowing which one is worth going to.  Let's take a look at some things you should look out for in a marriage counselor.

The first thing you need to do is to find out what their credentials are.  There are basically three types of counselors as follows:

1. Ph.D. or Psy.D. level counselor.  These counselors have put in the hard work to get their positions.  They have been to graduate school for a minimum of five years and would have written a dissertation.  They would have performed at least 3000 hours of therapy while supervised by an experienced psychologist.  A person must have a doctoral level degree to be legally referred to as a 'clinical psychologist'.  Ph.D.'s, although they have put in the hard work, can tend to be more academic in nature and you may find that they will do a bit of forensic work along with the therapy.

2. M.S.W. - Master of Social Work.  This type of counselor is trained to apply social theory to specific situations.  They can work with individuals or with institutions.

3. M.S. or M.A. - or also known as 'Marriage and Family Therapist'.  These counselors may only work with individuals or with small groups.  They will have gained a 2 year degree and have done 1500 hours of supervised therapy.

If you are planning to use insurance cover to help fund your marriage counseling then they will probably point you in the direction of a Marriage and Family Therapist or a M.S.W. as these are less expensive than a Ph.D. level counselor.

The second thing you need to do is find out how much the counseling will cost.  You will find that clinical psychologists are generally more expensive and Marriage and Family Therapists will be the least expensive.  The least expensive may not always be the best option, you need to choose the best option for saving your marriage.

You need to consider both the individual session cost as well as the overall cost for the entire length of treatment.

Some therapists may have a sliding scale fee and this is often based on a couple's income.  It is usually non-profit institutions that will offer this type of fee which can make counseling affordable for those who may not otherwise be able to afford it.

The third thing that you need to look at is the policies that a therapist has.  Some questions you may want to ask are:

* Do you still pay for a session if you miss it or cancel it?

* If you go on vacation and let them know ahead that you will miss a session will you still be required to pay for it?

* Does the therapist accept phone calls at home or outside of normal session times?

* Is there an alternative therapist that you can call in an emergency?

A Marriage and Family Therapist is trained to help families work through any issues so it is their job to help you to save your marriage.  You should feel comfortable talking to a counselor and if for any reason you just don't feel comfortable with a particular therapist then you should stop seeing them and find one that you will be comfortable with.

Before giving up on your marriage and filing for divorce, try marriage counseling to try and save your marriage. By

how to be a challenge to your girlfriend

 

How To Be A Challenge To Your Girlfriend

So you want to know how to be a challenge to your girlfriend, huh? While there is nothing wrong with that, it does beg the question of why you want to be a challenge, and what exactly does that mean? Perhaps it is that you are worried about her breaking up with you, or maybe it's because you heard that women like there men to be complicate, or it could be that she has accused you of being a pushover and she would like you to change. Whatever the reason, there are things you can do to add more depth to your relationship.

1. Examine your motives. Your reasons for wanting to present more of a challenge to your girlfriend will make a big difference in how successful you are, those same reasons may also provide insights into problem areas in your relationship. For example, if you want to be challenging because you're afraid she will find someone else, then you need to examine the source of that insecurity. If you want to do it because you love her and you think she will be happier because of it, then it shows that you have good intentions.

2. Learn to communicate effectively. Okay, you want to know how to be a challenge to your girlfriend, but you still need to be able to talk to each other. Learning good communication skills will make it easier for the two of you to talk and work things out. It can also add an element of challenge to your relationship because it will require both of you to think carefully about what you say to each other, and how you say it.

3. Don't let her take you for granted, and vice-versa. Not taking each other for granted can be a huge challenge all by itself. The problem with her taking you for granted is that she won't even be aware of it, which is exactly what the definition of taking someone for granted is. By being aware of it, and pointing it out to her, you can become more of a challenge because she will now have to make an effort to no longer take you for granted.

4. Get of the relationship rut. Nothing is less challenging than being predictable. It seems that the longer two people are together, the deeper their rut becomes, and that rut leads to boredom, and boredom can lead to infidelity or breaking up. However, if you vary your routine, can be somewhat unpredictable, and embrace spontaneity, then you can break out of that right. Doing this will help to keep things fresh in your relationship and your positively impulsive behavior will be a pleasant challenge for your girlfriend.

5. Don't be a jerk about it. Some guys make the mistake of thinking that women like a guy who is a jerk, but the truth is that they are just looking for a guy who is exciting. As you have seen, how to be a challenge to your girlfriend requires a few simple changes, and you make all of them and be a nice guy at the same time..

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